oh the places you'll go!

two nights ago i couldn't sleep. i guess i just had a lot on my mind.
so at 2 am, i read this poem from dr. seuss.

i wanted to post it because it's kind of matching up with my life now and it encouraged me in some small way.

even though i'm still in wake forest, God has taken me so many "places" these past few weeks, teaching me some pretty difficult, yet incredibly wonderful lessons.

but right now i think i'm in "the waiting place," waiting for...well, to be honest, i don't know exactly what i'm waiting for. but the point is that i am waiting. i'm waiting on God to show me my "next move" (well, not so much detail to me exactly what that next move is...but more like to tell me where to step when i need to; not like i need to know beforehand...if that makes any sense haha besides...this not knowing what's going to happen before it happens...it's kinda cool. it's like a surprise! haha).

i have no clue what God's doing or why certain things have turned out the way they have, but, the cool thing is...i don't have to understand. i don't need to understand. i probably don't want to understand haha. all i have to do is just simply trust Him. He knows what He's doing. but in the meantime, God is teaching me so much and, although it's hard sometimes, He's growing me in ways i never could have dreamed of.

i may be in "the waiting place" now, but i don't think i've ever been so content in my entire life. i'm waiting on God, but i'm absolutely loving every minute of it. He has truly captured my heart all over again.

anyway, here's the poem. i hope it encourages you like it did me.
later days.

Congratulations!
Today is your day. You’re off to Great Places! You’re off and away!
You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.

You’ll look up and down streets. Look ‘em over with care. About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.”
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down any not-so-good street.
And you may not find any you’ll want to go down. In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town.
It’s opener there in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you.
And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too.

OH! THE PLACES YOU’LL GO!
You’ll be on your way up! You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.
You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed.
You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you’ll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don’t...
Because, sometimes, you won’t.
I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true and hang-ups can happen to you.
You can get all hung upin a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on. You’ll be left in a Lurch. You’ll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,that you’ll be in a Slump.
And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?
And IF you go in, should you turn left or right…or right-and-three-quarters?
Or, maybe, not quite? Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused that you’ll start to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.

The Waiting Place……for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or a No or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting. Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a sting of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.....

NO!
That’s not for you! Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying.
You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing.
With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky. Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. There are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all.

Fame!
You’ll be famous as famous can be, with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

...Except when they don’t.
Because, sometimes, they won’t.
I’m afraid that some times you’ll play lonely games too.
Games you can’t win ’cause you’ll play against you.
All Alone!
Whether you like it or not, alone will be something you’ll be quite a lot.
And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon, that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.

But on you will go though the weather be foul, on you will go though your enemies prowl.
On you will gothough the Hakken-Kraks howl, onward up many a frightening creek, though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike and I know you’ll hike far and face up to your problems whatever they are.
You’ll get mixed up, of course,as you already know.
You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step, step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act.

Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.
And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU’LL MOVE MOUNTAINS! So…be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Brayor Mordecai Ali Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!
Dr. Seuss

weekend!

finally! it's been a long week! so, i just wanted to update super fast because i have a coaches' meeting for upward b-ball at richland creek in a few minutes...

God's taught me a lot this week...a lot about life, people, relationships (not like romantic relationships or anything haha yeah right), PATIENCE, etc. anyway, it's all good :) although it's been a hard week, i'm glad that it happened, if nothing else just to teach me. i have a LOT to learn.

anyway...i gotta jet. i'll probably update later today...or maybe not. :) later!

pants today?

my friend billy is awesome. he always comments on the days that i don't wear skirts, which would be one other time this semester. he says he likes when i wear skirts; it shows my character. well...today, i skipped my usual skirt and put on jeans. i didn't feel like dressing up today.

"pants today?"
"yep. it's one of those days..."

i did not want to get up this morning.
correction: when i got up this morning, i did not want to be here.
confession: when i got up this morning, i seriously considered skipping class and flying to cali.
...but my conscience would eat me up...so i put on jeans and went to class :)

old testament actually did me a lot of good.
josh reid is amazing. like really. he makes me laugh all the time. like, if i had to choose an older brother, i'd most likely choose him. he rocks.

meanwhile..in pastor dave's office, we talked as usual. about life. college. arctic puffins.
he gave me some awesome advice and i feel like a million times better.
best youth pastor ever.

then we went digging in the children's resource room for things for the harvest fest!
...and i went out shopping for rubber ducks, soccer goals, darts, etc. for hours
btw....rubber ducks are hard to come by :)

anyway, i'm chillin' at the dorm watching the hills, getting ready to go to d group then church to teach some cool middle school girls and worship at two four. lata

ps: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JORDAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

D NOW 2008

after approximately 11 hours of sleep, richland creek's 524 student ministry's disciple now 2008 is officially in the past. this year's theme was "No. 119" - a study from Psalm 119 on the importance of God's Word and how to hear, read, study, memorize, and apply it. in case you were wondering, d now is just a weekend "retreat" for students to break up into groups of about 7-8 and stay in "host homes" of various volunteers from the church.

in all honesty, i wasn't exactly looking forward to this weekend. so much has been going on with school and my work with the student ministry and teaching at the pre-school that i was hesitant about what was to take place. last year's d now was incredible. dr. reid (pretty much my second dad) spoke and the focus was on evangelism. honestly, i thought nothing could top that. and with another unspoken element, i was concerned that my focus would be off of the Lord and my girls this weekend. but fortunately, God granted me the strength to "just keep swimming." this weekend was the best weekend i've had in a long time!

here's what happened:

Friday

• in the morning, i filled in for the assistant teacher of the two year old class at the preschool at the creek (the classroom i most likely would have been working in if i had continued with the full-time job process). i love those kids. i've grown quite fond of the infants (peyton, julia, and troy) that i "taught" this past month, but the "twos," as they are called, have a special place in my heart as well. it took them a while to warm up to me...but one beautiful girl, abby, found it difficult to leave my lap after we played on the playground. she had fallen from her chair and hit her head on the table (ouch!). i held her for about 10 minutes while she cried...into my shirt. :) jake was another one that had a hard time leaving my lap; he wanted his mommy real bad! kephas was captivated by the story of david's defeat of goliath and wanted me to read him the story (even though he couldn't really understand the big words) over and over again. before i knew it, it was time to leave :( honestly, i think i regret not following through with becoming a full-time assistant teacher...but that's okay; lesson learned :)


• fast-forward to the actual D Now: after dinner in the fellowship hall, we had our first general session. worship was awesome! josh and tasha via, the brother and sister-in-law of jacob (the communications guy at the creek that looks like chad lister's twin) and jared (my college & career sunday school teacher) led worship and pastor dave preached about desiring the Word of God and how it is vital for the spiritual condition of a follower of Christ.


• after the session, we packed up and drove to our host homes. my group stayed at the kostenberger's house! dr. kostenberger is a prof. at my school and lauren (his daughter) and i have been friends for a while. pause. my girls were: becca (her dad, gary, is the upward basketball director and he went to greece with me this past april), olivia (she was the really tall girl on my upward team last year), avery (also on my upward team), micayla (upward again), stephanie (elizabeth taber's younger sister), miranda (steph's friend), and dre (she's in my small group on wendesday night). i cannot tell you enough about these girls; they are awesome!


• after consuming large quantities of junk food (bad idea #1), we started our first small group session that corresponded with pastor dave's message that night. it was sweet!


• 12 am: elizabeth and i tucked the girls in and told them good night. 2 am: they finally go to sleep :)

Saturday

• i awake at 5 am. it is at this point that i get a small glimpse of what being a mom is going to be like. i wake up the girls to take showers and straighten their hair and to do middle school girl thingsl


• 7:15 am - after my quiet time....i fall back asleep.


• 8:30 am - breakfast and small group session #2.


• 10:30 am - general session #2 about hearing, reading, studying, and memorizing God's Word.


• 12 pm - lunch. i accidently "cut" royce's throat (i unintentionally gave him a paper cut on his neck. don't worry...he's fine. :) haha). he makes me eat grapes dipped in nacho cheese for retribution. it was disguisting haha.


• 1 pm - we drive to jellybeans (the skating rink in wakefield) for afternoon recreation. three of the girls (micayla, becca, and olivia) ride with me. they loved having the sunroof and windows down and turning the music up really loud and singing along haha i love them! i decide not to skate because one of the girls in my small group on wednesday night can't...so i kept her company. this one boy fell right in front of us like three times. it was weird. haha


• 2:30 pm - in need of a break, vicky and i go to wal-mart to get candy for her girls (this was also a bad idea). she was a great encouragement to me as i was quickly fading at this point haha.


• 4 pm - back at the kostenberger's, we sprawl out on the floor in lauren and tahlia's room, unable to do anything but play an intense game of catchphrase.


• 5:30 pm - family dinner with the kostenbergers. we go around the table and introduce ourselves and tell the group our favorite band. dr. kostenberger likes barlowgirl. haha


• 7 pm - last general session on obedience to the Word of God. it was awesome. no, AWESOME! i love that pastor dave is very missions minded. afterall, that's pretty much the point of Christianity...to accept Christ's death on the cross as payment for your sins and to glorify Him with your life and to tell others about Him.


• 9 pm - after snacks (another bad idea), we start our final small group, which was somewhat painful to get through as the girls were really, really tired.


• 12 am - micayla is sick and must go home.


• 12:01 am - sleep!

Sunday

• chocolate again for breakfast (they had other stuff, too haha).


• sunday school & church.

on a side note, dylan became a creeker today! yay!

after church, i came home and slept for about three hours before going back to church to go to overflow for testimonies from d now. i was so totally sad about not being able to go to my biblical counseling class, but overflow was awesome too! then, vicky and i grabbed some starbucks and walked around campus, talking and laughing. i love that girl. a lot!

right now, i'm sitting on my bed, typing this...and, not gonna lie, i'm exhausted (and my hands hurt from typing this)...so, i'm going to bed.

out.

battles and birthdays.

so. i'm now entering my third month of college. it's been quite a ride. after many cycles of struggle and peace, i finally feel like i'm fitting in here. but i know that there are struggles that lie ahead of me.

i've had a lot running through my mind the past few weeks. i'm kind of tired so i'll give you all the reader's digest version...

basically, i'm tired of living like i'm trying to impress people. it gets so exhausting. and no matter what, no one is ever happy. basically, i can't do anything right. so. i'm trying this new thing where i actually do what i want to do and try not to care what other people think. it's kind of lonely, but i'll be fine. the way i see it, when you're faced with the truth and it's not where you need to be, you have two options: you can embrace the truth as truth and do something about it or you can ignore the truth and just play games. i've tried the second option. it's not worth it.

so...here's what's been going on:

1) school: i survived midterm week. i got a 91 on my western civ midterm (i'm not sure if i mentioned that already) and a 94 on my HOI (history of ideas) midterm. we don't have midterms in natural science or english (which is a relief) and my old testament midterm will be two weeks after fall break (which started, for me, at 6:20 pm). natural science is a struggle, as usual...but i'm hoping to play catch up over break. my friend josh helps to get me through class every week. we're actually planning a huge joint birthday party on december 4th (his 19th birthday is on the 3rd and mine's on the 5th)! that'll be pretty awesome!

2) church: dave's had me working on a lot of stuff pertaining to student ministry growth and assimilation. basically, i'm in charge of keeping tabs on every student that comes to richland creek and making sure that they get plugged in. i'm also checking up on all the parents to make sure they're attending sunday school. it's quite a task...i'm using two computers at the same time to work on it all! it's awesome, though; i love it! this week, dave and i were organizing some stuff for D NOW (disciple now) this weekend. it's a mini retreat for the students at home. we spent hours talking about music and college and even boys (hahaha). i'm so thankful that God led him to the creek!

3) boys: (speaking of which) i'm so sick of most of them. being a girl at a southern baptist college/seminary, i'm trying to adjust to being the minority. it's just so hard being surrounded by so much testosterone all the time! honestly...i'm done with it. for now.

4) friends: my favorite twins' birthday was this past tuesday! sam and savannah turned 19 and we had a surprise party for them! i love those girls so much; they're so sweet! umm...let's see...my friend dylan pulled an all nighter two nights ago! i admire his bravery haha. he's pretty cool. amie (my roomie) is working a lot...so i don't really see her too much. i haven't really had much of a social life this week...lots of stuff going on.

tomorrow is the start of a busy weekend. i'm substitute teaching for the preschool at richland creek from 8:30 to 12:30 in the morning. then i'm meeting with elizabeth (who's home from liberty!) at 1 to go over some stuff for d now, and then i'm hanging out with vicky at 3 (she's going to india in october!) and d now starts around 5:30 and lasts until sunday...

i'm loving my biblical counseling class. honestly...i think i feel more called to that than to missions in some ways. i don't know though. dr. catanzaro is awesome. i'm learning a lot.

i really want to fly out to california to see jordan and dee soon! like, i would leave tonight if i had the chance! (hint, hint mom and dad...haha)

well, i guess that's it for now.
later days.